I feel like I am living a lie

I really do I so want to discover myself, what if what I am dreaming of is not me is not what I want. If I am not able to discover, to try, to experience how will I ever know. Maybe I am not living a lie maybe this is the life I will want but I will never know if I yern for other things.

Where the hell is my phone

The last time I lost my phone I found it in a place my wife had already searched then within a couple of days it went missing again. I think my wife is stealing my phone, I have had enough I think I will shut it off, just disconnect it, there is no point having a mobile phone if you can never have it. .oO(or is my paranoia).

Just appologise

It is just not worth it I just need to appologise in such a way that does not arrouse suspisions as I can never remember enough of the details to make an accurate assessment of who is right. I think she knows too and uses it to argue more efficently .oO(or just my paranoia running away with me).

The new Polyamory Australia site

I was trying to sign up to the Polyamory Australia site today and the damn thing wouldn't let me enter the code in the picture.

Alcoholism

As a son of an alcoholic & a sufferer of chronic depression it is such a struggle for me to not take up the torch that my father has passed to me and become an alcoholic. I wonder what it would be like some times though. Currently I abstain from alcohol .oO(mainly because my wife is scared of me becoming a boozer) but I don't believe that is beating it, it is more like avoiding it.

Sad Days

Today my wife went into hospital for surgery. I was quite a sad experience having to leave her there. I am crossing everything I have that things go well.